


Tonight, I Need You To Stay

by QQI25



Series: i've found my home [5]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Canon Trans Character, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Trans Female Character, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-03 16:41:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17881421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QQI25/pseuds/QQI25
Summary: Their mama implies that Lup's not trans enough, and it starts to get to her.





	Tonight, I Need You To Stay

**Author's Note:**

> title from the run and go by twenty one pilots

“Y’know,” Mama says, “I just don’t get this trans thing. You don’t even act like a girl! Look at us. _I’m_ a girl and I look and act like a girl and you . . . don’t.” 

“Tomboys exist,” Lup says evenly.

“Yes, and so do regular boys. You were born a boy and you act like a boy, which means you’re a boy. Nothing else. No one’s born in the wrong body. That’s unnatural.” 

“Okay, well, I’m gonna go up. I have homework to do.” 

“I’m just saying! Look at Taako! He’s more like a girl than you are.” Lup ignores her mama, going up to her and Taako’s room. She closes the door with a huff and Taako looks up. She goes to his bed and sits next to him.

“What’s up, sis?”

“It’s Mama.” She thinks of that time, not long ago, when they sat in the same positions and her brother was the one saying that.

“She just gets under people’s skin, huh?”

“Do you wanna go for a walk? ‘Cause I could really use a walk right now.” 

“Sure. Let’s do it.” 

“Fuck. I said I have homework to do. . . . Fuck it. Who gives a shit what she thinks, anyway?” They don their jackets, bounding down the stairs and out the door, and start walking. 

“So what did she say to you?”

“She ‘doesn’t get’ trans people? Yeah you don’t have to fucking _get_ people to fucking re _spect_ them,” Lup fumes. This is what she does best. This is how she knows to deal with her emotions. Taako cries, and she yells. That’s how she protects herself, protects them. “Agh, I just . . . I don’t get _her_! How can you raise a kid and say you’ll do whatever to make your kid happy, but when it comes down to it, all you do is make your kids feel unsafe and _un_ happy? You know what she doesn’t get? She doesn’t fucking get _French_ either and we never hear her say this fuck ass shit about French or French people or France.” 

“The duality of man,” Taako quips. Lup laughs. They’re coming up on the elementary school playground. 

“I’ll race you to the swings! Loser has to push the winner!” Lup’s already running.

“Fuck you! That’s cheating!” She plops down on a swing and sees Taako actually running. 

“Yeah, that’s right weiner! You better be running to come push me!”

“That weiner coulda been a _winnerstrong_ er one of us, the fuck? Where the fuck do you see the arms on me, bitch?” She laughs. This banter is enough to distract her from her thoughts. When she deems it high enough, she tells Taako he can stop and lets her swing naturally get lower and lower, until it gets to a height she can jump off of. She does so gracefully, landing in a crouched position. Taako whistles.

“Okay, big boy. Your turn to get pushed.” He gets on and she starts pushing him, _hard_. He shrieks.

“Fuck! What the fuck? No need to do it so aggressively!”

“Wittle Taako can’t take it?”

“You’re such a fucking asshole, Lup! That’s good, that’s good! No more pushing!” Lup shrugs and steps away to the swing next to Taako’s.

“If you say so.” As she gets higher, she leans back so her body’s nearly horizontal, and it feels like she’s flying into the sky, into the woods behind the swings. Taako’s taking his time, kicking his legs at a more leisurely pace. Eventually, she tires of this and lets her swing once more get lower until she jumps off.

“Let’s go on the see-saw. I’m bored of swinging.” Taako lets his swing come to a halt and gets off, and they head over to the see-saw. It quickly turns into a competition as they push off faster and harder. They’re both wheezing by the end, barely able to laugh they’re laughing so hard. When their laughter dies down, she notices Taako shivering. 

“C’mon. I think it’s time we headed home.” Taako just nods and walks after her, and she takes his hand, swinging their arms between them. “Thanks for that. It was really fun.” 

“Yeah, of course, homie. I had fun too.” The walk home is spent pretty much in silence, and when she gets in their room, she collapses on her bed. Taako follows suit, laying down next to her and holding her hand.

“Taako?” Her anger and her energy have run out and all that’s running through her mind is _doubt doubt doubt_. Taako turns to look at her. 

“Yeah?”

“I can’t help thinking, what if she _is_ right? What if she’s right and I’m a- a _fraud_? What if I’ve been lying to myself and to you and to Tía and to her friends? She said I don’t act like a girl at all, that _you’re_ more like a girl, that it’s unnatural.” Her voice is barely above a whisper now. Taako pulls her closer so that they’re cuddling.

“Remember when _I_ was talking to you about something that Mama said to me and you said ‘what does she know?’ That statement was true when you said it then and it’s true now. She doesn’t know fuck all, Lulu! Not a fuck! That’s all the wisdom I have for you, because I don’t know much either. Maybe Tía knows more though, or knows someone who does. You could text _her_.” 

“Thanks, Taako. That’s a good idea.” She pulls out her phone to text Tía. Her fingers are shaking slightly, she notices.

 **Lup**  
tía  
mamas been saying stuff abt my being trans  
nd it’s rly getting to me

 **Tía**  
I’m sorry mija.  
Do you remember my friend Cleo? I think she might be able to help you. Is it okay if I tell her that you’re trans?

She’s tempted to reply that it doesn’t even fucking matter because she’s apparently not trans enough, but Tía’s just trying to help, and besides, Tía’s not the one she’s bitter at.

 **Lup**  
yeah

She locks her phone and sets it down on the bed.

“What’d Tía say?”

“She said Cleo from last time might be able to help.” 

“Good, good.” Taako’s petting her hair, and it feels really nice. 

“Yeah.” Her phone screen lights up.

 **Unknown Number**  
Hey girlie it’s Cleo! Leesi said u needed help? What’s up?

 **Lup**  
my mom said she “doesn’t get the trans thng”  
she said tht im not feminine at all nd therefore am not a girl??  
she said tht taakos more like a girl than i am  
nd like tbh ,,,, i can’t help but feel like she has a pt?  
like ,,, i don’t act like a girl in the trad girl way

 **Cleo**  
That rly sucks I’m so sry :((((  
But the thng I’ve learned thru being trans is tht there’s no way to be a girl or a guy or any gender.  
There’s a lot of diff ways to be a certain gender and a lot of diff ways express urself.  
You don’t hv to like dresses nd makeup to be a girl. You don’t hv to like sports nd be super tough to be a boy.  
You nd Taako break gender roles in a mjr way nd I kno tht it’s hard to live in a home environment tht doesn’t support u but just hang in there kiddo u’ll get out soon.  
Leesi nd I are always here for u nd I kno u already go to Leesi’s but I just want u to kno ur always welcome to come to mine as well, u and Taako.  
Just keep being u, okay? Ur valid as fuck no matter wht anyone says. It’s a mental thng, nd if u say ur a girl, ur a girl. It doesn’t matter if u “do girly thngs” or not. Remember tht cis girls don’t hv to. We hv more expectations heaped on us but fuck tht, u kno? Wht do they kno abt being trans?

 **Lup**  
thank u so much :’’’’’))

 **Cleo**  
<33333  
I got ur back girlie.  
Msg me whenever u need to ok?

 **Lup**  
will do  
<3333333

Lup can’t help it. She starts crying. Taako peeks over her shoulder.

“Is someone harassing you? I’ll beat ‘em up.” Lup laughs wetly and turns around, pressing her forehead to his shoulder. The arms around her hold on a little tighter.

“Cleo just gave me some tips and reminders. She said . . . she said we could go over to her place too anytime we want.”

“Yay! Are you feeling any better?”

“Yeah. A lot.”

“Good, good. I’m sorry I can’t help you more Lulu.”

“You’re already doing more than enough by being here for me.”

“I’ll _al_ ways be there for you.”

**Author's Note:**

> heeeeello hello! this wk is coming to an end already damb ://///
> 
> \- i hv playlists for the twins nd the ipre if anyones interested?? they're both rly short
> 
> \- cleo :''') mvp
> 
> \- (wheeze)
> 
> \- can u tell how much i love txting fics?? bc i rly do
> 
> \- this is the second to last hs fic i hv planned! the nxt is gna be abt their insta acc nd yt channel lol
> 
> \- oh ya i'm chnging thngs up nd the drawings are now just gna be the ipre + fisher, steve, junior, sloane, hurley, carey, killian, ango, krav, nd jules for now at least
> 
> \- buuuuut i do wna draw some of their insta pics sooooooo


End file.
